We constantly assess our own abilities against those of others. I know I do. What strikes me as incredible is how freaking random, self-created and only supported by facts after-the-fact these assessments are.
Here’s what I mean. For the second time in my life, I’ve started working with a life coach, this time on a much bigger commitment.
(As a side note, read about Mark Pincus’ dedication to using life and other types of coaches: http://www.vanityfair.com/business/features/2011/06/mark-pincus-farmville-201106 For me, reading this was an external validation of something I’ve always believed in - which is giving myself the best tools I could possibly get to succeed).
With the encouragement of my coach, for the last couple of days, I’ve been consciously going through my beliefs about what I’m good or bad at. Initially, going through this exercise, it appears as though these beliefs are facts. But, after a close look and some helpful guidance, you can start to see your own BS. You’ve made most of it up!
Our beliefs are likely either unsupported by facts, or are a result of us acting on those beliefs in the first place until they come true. My so-called facts have included the following: I’m a natural entrepreneur. I’m great at product design. I’m great at operating independently. I’m bad at marketing. My independence is also my weakness and, I’m bad at bringing other people into my game. (Keep in mind that this being a public post, I’m keeping these observations on the safer side of things. Gotta maintain my awesome public image :-) ). And so on.
Now here are the facts I’m beginning to collect. I can think of multiple instances when people have come to me and asked how is it that I’ve managed to do what I’ve done. Specifically, start and run a successful user experience design consulting company (http://dynamikagency.com/ - a company I put on hold to focus on my startup), finance and launch a startup (http://www.wanelo.com/), become really good at product design.
People like to ask if I’ve gone to school for these things. The answer is a giant NO. There was no school involved. I simply did these things because I wanted to do them and I had an irrational, unsupported-by-anything belief (which I really can take no credit for) that I can do those things! It’s that simple. I believed that I could, that they were mine to claim and I did them.
We all know those people who think they can and those people who simply think they can’t. Some jump forward with zero preparation, make mistakes, learn, adjust, while others take classes, read books, read and research endlessly, feeling overwhelmed by the necessity to be “ready” and to build up slowly before starting on a task.
Here’s some simple proof. When Wanelo first launched, the design was just plain bad. There’s no other way of putting. It was utterly horrible. And, in retrospect, I really didn’t care about how bad it was. I wanted to design it. I thought I could design it well. I liked the problem I set out to solve. And I decided that I loved designing enough to figure it out (i.e. make mistakes, learn and fix them). So I did it. But the reality is that I was not good at it and I had no idea what I was doing.
On the flip side, looking at the things I believe myself to be bad at, it becomes obvious that the starting conditions for my strengths and weaknesses are actually nearly identical. In other words, I don’t know sh*t to begin with and it’s my beliefs about what I can and cannot be good at that is determining my ability to become good at that thing.
With all this in mind, I am now deciding that I am born to be ridiculously good at marketing and at bringing others into my game. Watch out :)
